MPAA CRIES LIKE SPOILED CHILD

Unable to comprehend why every country in the world doesn't want Hollywood in every cinema, and Yoda Happy Meals on every table, the MPAA has been shaking with frustration over China's unwillingness to do what they're told. Now, despite praising China's efforts to battle piracy, Dan Glickman (the new, younger, unwrinkly Jack Valenti), is using piracy as a crobar to force open the Chinese market. China only allows in 20 foreign films a year, "They ought to end the quota system, period." Glickman sputtered, appropos of nothing during a diatribe against Chinese piracy, in which he uttered several vague and shadowy threats of consequences if China didn't do what he wants them to do.

The MPAA estimates that Hollywood loses $280 million each year to piracy in China. That means that most studio executives cannot supersize their fries on a regular basis and must make do with regular portions of fast food like many other Americans.

(Thanks to Jennifer Young over at Mobius)