ANGELINA JOLIE: YOU'RE DRAFTED!

Dear Angelina Jolie,
As a new Cambodian citizen you must be very excited. Congratulations!
Remember, your new motto is "Nation. Religion. King." Say it often.

On the downside, you now have a duty to "participate in national reconstruction and to defend the homeland." Since you're barely 30 (born in 1975, right?) you can be drafted to do National Service. Hooray! See you in two years when you're done! Just keep thinking of Maddox while you're out there digging ditches.