EVERYBODY GETS GRUMPY

I don't know if it's the heat or the humidity or the war in Iraq, but everyone is getting their rage on this week. In the absence of any real news, here's a handy guide to who's seeing red:

The Boy Scouts of Hong Kong are mad that Andy Lau dressed as a Scout for a television concert and he got the hat, the tie and the position of his badge all wrong, wrong, wrong.

The Mangal Pandey Memorial Committee is ticked off that Mangal Pandey's home village of Nagwan isn't even mentioned in Aamir Khan's Mangal Pandey movie, THE RISING. They're so mad that they've filed suit to ban the movie, damaged a store selling CDs of the movie, kept it off the screens in one cinema in Nagwan itself, and even stalled a train for some reason.

Their anger is backed up and reinforced until it becomes an unstoppable force for truth and justice by the BJP (India's Hindu Nationalist Party) who are demanding that THE RISING be banned because it shows Mangal Pandey visiting a brothel and everyone knows that just isn't true. (To be honest: he actually just gets in a fight that spills over into a brothel, and then he platonically lurks a little on the brothel balcony)

Triad dudes from the Bamboo Union are PO'ed that Vicky Zhao Wei can't handle her liquor. SHAOLIN SOCCER's leading lady got drunk as a skunk and as irritating as a wasted sorority sister at a Beijing Bar, prompting Bamboo Union-ers to slap around her escort for the evening (since they wouldn't hit a lady) hoping that this would teach Ms. Vicky moderation in all things.

Brigitte Lin is mildly put out that Tsui Hark is planning to shoot a film version of her life story and she's reportedly withdrawn her permission for him to do so. Ms. Lin is happily retired and besides, Tsui is rumored to be casting Cecilia Cheung as Lin. This wouldn't be the first time Tsui Hark cast Cecilia Cheung as a "younger" Brigitte Lin (see: LEGEND OF ZU). Just what every actress wants, a younger version of herself reminding her that time holds still for no great lady of the silver screen.

Mainland Chinese authorities are annoyed that Stanley Kwan's latest film, EVERLASTING REGRET, suggests that the Cultural Revolution wasn't a great big party that never stopped. Kwan had better hop to it and trim those ridiculous suggestions from the film, pronto, or he and the cast will be blacklisted in China. Stanley Kwan says he's trimming just a few more minutes from the movie anyways before it premieres at the Venice Film Festival so it's not a big deal. Whew! Tony Leung Kar-fai has already been blacklisted in Taiwan (for shooting a film in the PRC) and Stanley Kwan has run into PRC problems with his films RED ROSE, WHITE ROSE and LAN YU -- the last thing these guys need is another black mark against their names. Go, Stanley. Trim, trim, trim!