TRANSPORTER 2 - OUCH

Cory Yuen, what happened to your "e"? You used to be one of Hong Kong's most talented action directors, but somehow all this foolishness of Yuen Woo-ping becoming Yuen Wo-ping and Zhang Ziyi becoming Ziyi Zhang in Hollywood, you've dropped the "e" in Corey and with it, at least temporarily, you've dropped your talent.

The only reason to see TRANSPORTER 2 is Cory Yuen's action choreography, but in almost every single case, director Louis Leterrier shoots and edits it so poorly that it's a Hollywood jumble of mis-cuts and motion blurs. And this from the man who brought us Yuen Wo-ping's masterful work in UNLEASHED, shooting it in a manner that rested just on the line between Hong Kong and Hollywood action photography. Cory Yuen don't get no respect.

The plot involves Amber Valleta and Matthew Modine teaming up to have a dimbulb brat, which Frank (Jeremy Statham), the titular Transporter, drives to school. The kid gets kidnapped by Euro-trash and Amber Valleta implores Frank to bring him back. The two of them are bonded and in close up you can see why: both of them sport the most damaged skin seen onscreen in quite some time. Ms. Valleta's haggard, tired epidermis with its dry patches, sun damage and age spots matches Mr. Statham's grizzled, unshaven surface-of-the-moon skin so well that they could only be kindred spirits.

There's a big set-up involving the martial arts skills of the baddie but his ultimate showdown with Mr. Statham consists of rolling around on the floor of one of the creakiest CGI jets ever given the OK by an overworked director.

But there is one scene in this movie that contains so much nutty visual poetry that one suspects Cory Yuen went off and shot and edited it himself. One little scene that trumps almost every other action movie out there today. It's a scene with a firehose and you can save $10 and see it in its entirety here.

Otherwise, stay home and hope that Cory Yuen goes back to being the inimitable Corey Yuen soon.