YOU AREN'T MISS CHINATOWN UNTIL YOU'RE IN A MOVIE

Most beauty pageants focus on talent, evening wear and swimsuit competitions, but not so the Miss New York Chinese Beauty Pageant. These delicate flowers had to make a martial arts movie. Yes, it's two opposing demographics crashing together in an earth-shattering collision of fake eyelashes, diet aids, and the 18 legendary weapons of Shaolin. The short flick will screen tonight (9/23) at the Museum of the Moving Image, and then expect it to show up online somewhere lascivious. I'm speechless at the pure weirdness of this.