THE POSE SHOWS

The Weinstein Company has just signed a kajillion dollar deal to produce the first movie in a hopeful franchise: KUNG FU HIGH SCHOOL. Based on a book by a 26 year old white boy named Ryan Gattis, the script got all caught up in a bidding war and the rights probably cost more money than everyone reading this put together will ever make.

Gattis' book is about a tuff skool in the inner city where all the kids know martial arts and hit each other a lot. The heroine is a 15 year old half-white/half-Latino chick who knows martial arts, and that sound you hear is a zillion adolescent geeks wetting their pants because they just fell in love. Why kung fu in America? In this interview, Gattis says: "I've always enjoyed kung fu narratives and I wanted to transpose one from China to America." Well, the kung fu narrative thanks you, Mr. Gattis.

And why a woman? "Far gone are the days of girls being made of 'sugar and spice and everything nice.' What's interesting to me is that we're only recently seeing an increase in a more realistic look at the complex inner workings of females, especially in regard to violent tendencies." Complex inner workings?!? In regard to violent tendencies?!? Hm, interesting indeed, Mr. Gattis. Someone beat up this kid and steal his thesaurus.

You can read an excerpt from his book here, and, yes, his writing sounds just the way he talks: stiff.