FIRST THEY CAME FOR AISHWARYA...

This morning took a sudden turn for the worse as a sharp-eyed reader sends in news that Brett Ratner is looking to sign Aishwarya Rai for RUSH HOUR 3. In my head there's an image of Aish paddling around in the water, just minding her own business, rubbing some L'Oreal shampoo into her hair just because it's such a great, great product; and behind her is an enormous, greasy shark monster like Paul, the hammerhead/human hybrid from HAMMERHEAD: SHARK FRENZY, and he's sneaking up on her, hiding behind waves and ready to swallow her alive.

The incriminating dialogue was captured in this probing interview by Robert Sanchez (my favorite line: "I really like your work. FAMILY MAN, I came from the automotive industry, I actually used to manage a tire store so I really related to him."). Sanchez was in Las Vegas to look at clips from X-MEN 3 but, as it so often does, conversation soon turned to RUSH HOUR 3.

Q: You mentioned that you are looking for an Indian actress, a really hot Indian actress to be in Rush Hour 3.              

BR: I love her, Aishwarya Rai, the most beautiful woman in the world.

Q: Would you cast her?

BR: I am trying to right now. She's the most beautiful woman in the world and it's my dream to put her in the movie, Aishwarya Rai is considered to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

Yes, Aishwarya Rai is considered to be the most beautiful woman in the world. Yes. The most beautiful woman in the world. She is considered to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

Snap out of it!

I bet Julia Roberts really regrets having once said that about Aish. It's as if you ate a donut and said, "This is the best donut ever!" and one week later there was a huge sign over the store flashing "Best Donuts Ever".

You can read the whole interview (insightful!) and Ratner has a few more nuggets to excrete about RUSH HOUR 3 including, "Hopefully Chris Tuckers' character is going to grow and learn something from this experience and Jackie Chan as well."

We can always hope.