DO THE CANNES SHUFFLE

I'm already predisposed to dislike Cannes because for most of the year I listen to sales agents saying, "I'll get back to you with a decision after Cannes," and I have a sneaking suspicion that it's not nearly as fun as people say it is. I just watched a documentary with a producer who went a few times who described it as "lonely" and I'm betting that's a more accurate assesment. But still! It's exciting! Everyone wants to be at Cannes!

Which must be why it hurts so bad for directors who have been rejected. Rumor has it that Darren Aronofsky's THE FOUNTAIN was rejected from competition and offered a non-competitive slot, which Aronofsky in turn rejected. But we're talking about Asian film, and so let's look instead at HANA. Kore-Eda's samurai movie, which Derek Elley of Variety had previously pegged as a contender. Where is it now? Dunno, but the print's ready since over on the official site they're announcing a June 3, 2006 release date.

The BAYSIDE SHAKEDOWN director and producer who have teamed up for the Japanese food comedy UDON (releasing in Japan on August 26) are going to open an udon joint at the market in Cannes, serving several hundred bowls of noodles to hungry sales agents who probably could care less because they've seen it all before and where are the naked ladies? The star of the film, Yusuke Santamaria (star of THE NEGOTIATOR) is sick of eating udon in the movie but, according to HogaCentral, he improvised a dance onstage at the press conference to "cheer up eating udon." Maybe that'll hold their attention.

In other Cannes news, for the 2007 festival they've hired 20 directors to make 6 minute shorts in honor of their 60th birthday. According to the Chinese press, Tsai Ming-liang is one of the chosen ones.