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May 16, 2006

BRETT RATNER'S ASIAN ORGY

Brett Ratner doesn't just have his sticky fingers on Aishwarya RaiDirector Brett Ratner doesn't just have his sticky fingers on Aishwarya Rai, now he wants...well, let him tell you what he wants:

"I want Yao Ming, the basketball player, to be in it [RUSH HOUR 3]. I want to recreate the fight sequence from the Bruce Lee movie where he fights Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, but I want to do the reverse; I want Chris Tucker to fight Yao Ming. I want that to happen. I want Aishwarya Rai [the biggest female star in Bollywood] and I would love Gong Li [last seen in Memoirs of a Geisha] to be in the movie. There's some people that I want, but I don't know if I'll be able to get them. Tony Jaa [star of last year's Ong Bak: Thai Warrior] I want, too. I love him."

He wants, he wants, he wants. What about us, and our needs? I told you this would happen, I told you all. First he came for Aish and no one said anything. Then he came for Yao Ming, and no one said anything. Now he's coming for Gong Li and Tony Jaa and who will say something now?

May 16, 2006 at 10:00 AM in News | Permalink

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Tracked on May 16, 2006 12:57:31 PM

» The Day In Brett Ratner: "I Am Not A (Party) Animal" from Defamer
· Brett Ratner laments that the stories he plants in the tabloids portray him as a "party animal," overshadowing his legacy as America's most extravagantly gifted fauxteur and passion for... [Read More]

Tracked on May 16, 2006 1:09:15 PM

Comments

He better not touch Tony Jaa!

Posted by: Tory | May 16, 2006 11:35:57 AM

Sweet fancy Moses! Can someone just stop Brett Ratner, and stop him now?

Posted by: Renee | May 16, 2006 11:39:01 AM

okay, let me go on record and say that he can have Tony Jaa -- Tony needs some help -- Tom Yum Goong was like the worst movie I ever saw with the best fights -- if that makes sense. Just stunningly amateurish besides the fights. Jaa needs polishing.

Hands off the rest Ratner (unless X3 is good and then u are free to do your worst).

Posted by: glenn | May 16, 2006 1:27:15 PM

I just know the execution is going to be embarassing, but using Yao Ming in an inversion of the famous GAME OF DEATH fight might be the most clever thing Ratner ever came up with. Not that that's saying all that much. Dreading his X-MEN movie almost as much as FANTASTIC FOUR 2. Almost.

Posted by: Rhythm-X | May 16, 2006 3:39:45 PM

Hey, remember when Ratner got Zhang Ziyi, Kennenth Tsang, Don Cheadle and John Lone for Rush Hour 2? Remember how he didn't give any of them anything interesting to do and they all just kind of stood around while Chris Tucker acted like an annoying jackass? Remember that?


Ratner: Hey, "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon" was a massive hit, I want that waifish chick from that for my horrible sequel.

Studio Exec: Cool, you want her and Jackie to do some sort of elaborate action scene? Something like that?

Ratner: Naw. I want her to look kinda imposing, despite the fact that she's actually 4'4 and 70 pounds, and I want her to get defeated, then killed in the most demeaning way possible.

Studio Exec: It could just be the cocaine talking, but you sir, are a freaking genius!

Will something please happen to derail Rush Hour 3 from ever being made. Please.

Posted by: Max K. | May 17, 2006 1:44:10 AM

Ratner should go back to making 12 minute mock doccos on long forgotten Underwood's© Devilled Ham pitch-imps.
Mason Reese's greatest moment? "BORGASMORD!" Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk. Just go back to 1973 and you'll see...

Posted by: Wyatt Wingfoot | May 17, 2006 11:26:42 AM

Eh, Max, her character's death wasn't demeaning at all. She was one of the few in the movie trying to act.

Posted by: Gandalf Mantooth | May 17, 2006 1:32:09 PM

What, no thanks to the sharp-eyed reader whose comment timestamp precedes the posting timestamp?

http://www.kaijushakedown.com/2006/03/brett_keep_your.html#c17308659

I don't know whether to be relieved or disappointed that the top search listing for "Aishwarya Rai Gong Li Orgy" would've returned a page with my name in the mix.

Posted by: Niraj | May 19, 2006 7:42:30 PM

c 4

Posted by: HochuFerrari | Jun 11, 2006 3:00:35 PM

So, I'd imagine that since this was originally posted, statistics would reveal that 40% of all non-returning traffic comes to the website through this post, right?

Posted by: Vincent | Jan 16, 2007 11:37:25 AM

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