JACKIE DRUNK: JONES LOST

Ming Pao is reporting that Jackie Chan, drunk as a skunk, climbed onto the stage in the middle of a Jonathan Lee concert and demanded that Lee sing a duet with him. Jackie had been a guest performer at the Sunday night show, but no one had told him that this was now the Monday night show. And no one let him know that there actually was a musical director, either, because Chan tried to conduct the band himself leading to a long, painful interval while he stopped and restarted the music several times.

The audience, who were there for Lee (an extremely popular Taiwanese singer/songwriter), passed the time by heckling Jackie who took offense and began to insult them from onstage. Jackie then helpfully explained that he was drunk.

Several local papers have published accounts of the incident, and here's a rough version of what happened in all its cringe-worthy detail.

Towards the end of the show, Jackie climbed onstage and graciously informed the audience of his condition. "I rarely show up at this kind of occasion drunk, but tonight I'm really drunk." Then he started things off on the right foot by telling the audience, "Diu lei lo mei," which means, roughly, "F--- your mother." "Oh, damn," he said. "I just swore."

Jackie went on to say that he had just been out drinking with 20 Japanese friends. "What did I say? I can't quite remember. Damn, I'm really drunk...I have to apologize." He bowed to the audience. "I apologize to everybody. I shouldn't be onstage drunk. But I know that if I made a fool of myself you guys will be happy, so I'd rather make a fool of myself."

Things seemed to be back on track - Jackie's drunk but sorry, he knows what people want to see - and he sung two songs. But he still wouldn't get off the stage. He tried to sing a third song. Some audience members began to shout, "Go home," "Shut up," and "Very irritating." Jackie ignored them, but he couldn't take it when Jonathan Lee looked at his watch. "Why are you looking at the watch? I'll pay [for the fines] if the show runs over. Why do you look at your watch all the time?"

The band began to play. Wrong.

"Shut up!" Jackie shouted. "You play music only when I tell you to! Now we sing 'True Heart Hero' [Chun Sum Ying Hung]"

Jackie tried to act like a conductor but the keyboardist started playing.

"How arrogant! I haven't even started to count one, two, three! Where do you come from?"

He began to sing but the audience started booing. Jackie finished the song and apologized again. "We thank Jonathan for coming to MY concert. I've disturbed your show. Thanks to Jonathan for letting me come on to the stage. There was a crazy man out here."

Journalists jumped Jackie on his way out of the venue. "I'm really ashamed of myself," he said. "I'm so sorry." Although the next day, Jackie denied he was drunk the previous night. Tell that to Jonathan Lee, who wound up having to pay HK$40,000 in overtime charges to the venue. Or Jackie's oft-criticized son, Jaycee Fong, who said he was embarrassed. "I hope this will not happen again," Jaycee cringed. And tell that to the Hong Kong Tourism Board who made Jackie their ambassador years ago and spent all of the next few days trying to get in touch with Jackie's management to discuss the incident.

According to some fans, this isn't the first time Jackie has revealed his inner stage-hog. During a Dandelion concert some folks say he also jumped onstage, also apparently under the influence. But there is an explanation. There's word floating around that over last weekend Jackie lost his dog. Oh dear god no. Not Jones.

(Thanks to Jennifer for ringing the "Celebrity Misbehavior" alarm)