FRIDAY IS FUN-DAY

Chiyoko Tanisaki really loved that block of concrete in front of her house, because when the road was changed from dirt to asphalt the construction crew had to remove it and she, playing shoot the messenger, began a two-year campaign of peeing in a cup and throwing it into her neighbor's yard. Their crime? They were the ones elected to tell her the block would have to be removed.

Park Chan-Wook knows what it's like to have urine thrown on him. Korea's most over-praised director just announced that I'M A CYBORG (BUT THAT'S OKAY) will be yanked from theaters this week, two weeks after its release and right before the super-lucrative holiday season. It's had only 780,000 admissions (compared to around 3 million for OLDBOY) and will be replaced by THE RESTLESS, a martial arts flick also repped by CJ Entertainment (as is CYBORG). I guess that'll teach Park to never deviate from movies about horror and abuse again.

There's a trailer up on YouTube for CONFESSION OF PAIN, the Takeshi Kaneshiro/Tony Leung movie from the directors of the INFERNAL AFFAIRS trilogy and before you even start to say it looks good, check out all these people throwing the urine of Chiyoko on it. This Malaysian website says the movie "never finds its pulse", a user on Yahoo Movies Malaysia gave it one star and wrote "What I loved most: nothing; What I really hated: everything", and The Hindu (in an AP piece) calls the movie "an artistic failure". I love the internet - ruining movies for us before they're barely released.

You thought there would be good cheer? Ha! The urine of Chiyoko is just getting warmed up. The work ethic of everyone on RUSH HOUR 3 gets the next dose. Except for Jackie. Jackie Chan is like Woody Allen: he can't slow down, he has to make movies, and he'll never stop even if it's a good idea to take a break. Not so the other folks on the film. End of November: Chris Tucker is "sick" for two days. Beginning of December: Brett Ratner is "sick" for four days (no one tells Jackie, so he shows up on set and gets in costume). Is this the kind of "sick" that Lindsay Lohan gets?

And, finally, a little flick of the urine of Chiyoko at Zhang Ziyi who will now voice the evil villain in TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES. Sigh. Doesn't she know that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are a sign of the end of the world? Four turtles = four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.