PLEASE LEAVE BRUCE LEE ALONE

Bruce Lee is dead. Seriously. But some people just don't understand that simple fact and, like the 8 year old tyke who tearfully begs daddy to dig up Mr. Whiskers one more time, they can't let the dead stay in the ground. Or in the air. Or wherever. Not only is Rob Cohen of THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS scrabbling at the hard-packed cemetary dirt to dig up Bruce's corpse for his movie, but now there's a Bruce Lee theme park opening in China and Chan Kwok-kwan, who played a Bruce-Lee-a-like in Stephen Chow's SHAOLIN SOCCER, is starring as Bruce in a 40 episdoe Mainland Chinese television series about the life of Bruce Lee.

The trouble is that eventually daddy has to start saying "no" when asked to dig up Mr. Whiskers for "one last goodbye" the ninth or tenth time because, frankly, Mr. Whiskers isn't smelling so good and no one seems to know where half his head went. Chan Kwok-kwan says, "I'm really very happy that I got the lead role. This isn't about the money. I'm really excited to play Bruce Lee."

No, Chan. This is pretty much all about the money.