JACKIE CHAN: KILLJOY

The latest installment of Jackie Chan's RUSH HOUR 3 blog is a pre-Christmas post and man is this guy a grump. He goes in to work and the hairstylists are giving each other presents. “The happiest moment is when you first open your present. After you open them, you probably won’t use them and will probably put them away," Jackie says to them.

Then there's the terrible condition of the garbage cans: "For a while, next to every garbage can, a little container was attached for recycling. Now that container isn’t there anymore and nobody seems to have noticed. How can we recycle when there are no recycling containers?"

He even manages to make me feel sorry for Brett Ratner. "When I went to Brett’s trailer today, I saw that he had thrown away two barely used envelopes. I was really upset and told him to recycle. I grabbed him, punched him (lightly) and told him not to waste paper."

Then the crew has the temerity to give him Christmas presents, inspiring one of the most depressing monologues I've ever read.

"I really can’t use most of the things people give me. I thank them but can I really eat another box of candy or chocolate? Should I eat a whole box by myself?...Why did someone buy me socks when I already wear my own custom designed socks? Why did someone buy me wine when I have my own label? Why did someone buy me a tie when I never wear ties unless it’s for my character in a film?"

Merry Christmas to you, too, Jackie.